Tuesday

Goldman Sachs in Talks To Acquire US Department of Treasury

Post a Comment October 27, 2009 – 1:59 am |   | Permalink |  Print This Post |

An article in the Huffington Post:

In what some on Wall Street are calling the biggest blockbuster deal in the history of the financial sector, Goldman Sachs confirmed today that it was in talks to acquire the U.S. Department of the Treasury.

According to Goldman spokesperson Jonathan Hestron, the merger between Goldman and the Treasury Department is “a good fit” because “they’re in the business of printing money and so are we.”

The Goldman spokesman said that the merger would create efficiencies for both entities: “We already have so many employees and so much money flowing back and forth, this would just streamline things.”

Mr. Hestron said the only challenge facing Goldman in completing the merger “is trying to figure out which parts of the Treasury Dept. we don’t already own.”

Goldman recently celebrated record earnings by roasting a suckling pig over a bonfire of hundred-dollar bills.

This apparently angered Goldman Sachs CEO

“This is simply not true!” responded CEO Lloyd Blankfein, speaking at a news conference.  “The talks never progressed past an exchange of ideas for a merger, not an acquisition!”  Blankfein then quickly changed the subject and stated firmly, “People complain that our average employee, from myself to the lowest secretary, receives a bonus of $700,000 yearly.  Again this is simply not true.  This number is an average bonus; the secretaries receive far less than $700,000.”

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Holding on to shorts require nerves of steel these days. Our shorts from two nights ago at (an average of) 10020 $4/point are still intact - before we went to bed last night it was flashing red. Having grown accustomed to seeing a sea of red in our portfolio, we held back the temptation to cut loss at our entry point as part of harm minimization. This will come good - especially all our hedged positions. From the blogs we read, many bears have thrown in the towel and are now bullish in the short term - citing the possibility of a higher high with all the money printing. Whilst entirely possible, we think this is unlikely for the Dow.

We will lower our stops now to our entry point at 10020. Also a order to close half our position ($2/point) at 9830 (30 day moving average).

At the time of writing the Dow is trading at 9880.